Being confident and resilient are some of the best qualities you can possess in the current job market. For some people these qualities seem to come naturally, as if they were born knowing who they are and what they have to offer the workplace and the world. “How do they do it? Can I do it?” These are questions I often hear from clients. The answer is yes: Although to some people, these skills come naturally, being confident and resilient can also be learned skills.
In order to possesses confidence and resilience even when things don’t work out as planned you must first recognize your natural strengths and become completely comfortable with who you are. This comfortability will transfer into what you have to offer the world and whether it is a job interview or a business offer, people will be naturally attracted to your confidence. Does this mean everything will always go your way? No, life is never perfect. That is where the resiliency comes in and if you want to be successful in any economy or job market, mastering this skill is crucial.
In order to be resilient you need to detach your self from the outcome of the situation you are presented with. This doesn’t mean that you should check out completely. It means remove the self identification from the outcome of the situation. Go to the interview and really let yourself shine; instead of consuming yourself with thoughts like: “If I say xyz perfectly I’ll get the job” or “I have to get this job because it proves I am competent.” If you focus on doing everything just right and then believe your worthiness only comes from being hired by them you are holding back your true confident self. You are so attached to the outcome that without knowing it you are coming across as desperate and unsure.
Some strategies for developing resiliency are as follows:
• The job interview seemed perfect. They hung on every word and loved your ideas. But the call never came. Instead of criticizing yourself and feeling like a failure, think about everything you did right. Then notice how you didn’t get the response you expected and what you may do differently the next time. Realize the decision may have had nothing to do with you personally.
• Notice that looking at what you did right takes you away from feeling like a failure. As humans we can get fixated on the negative. We let situations like job interviews or no responses to a marketing campaign act as triggers for our thoughts and emotions about ourselves. When you detach from the outcome, what can be perceived as failure doesn’t attach itself to our confidence or thwart our efforts to strive for success.
• It may feel difficult at first, but over time learning to tune into your confidence and detach from outcomes will give the boost you need to keep putting yourself out into the world. Surround yourself with people who can serve as role models and support systems. You’ll begin seeing that the stumbles you’ll encounter along the way won’t hold you back because you will have a group of people who believe in you and what you are doing. Keep yourself focused by being resourceful to others as well.
Laura Tirello is a Career and Life Coach. Her company, Core Life Design, works with people who are looking to find their highest potential both in their careers and personal lives. Are you looking for ways to turn your ideas into goals for 2010? I am offering a free teleclass, “Shifting from Thinking to Doing: Creating a Mission Statement for Your Ideas.” Email Laura at Laura@corelifedesign.com to sign up or visit corelifedesign.com for more information.