When a potential client approaches me and the first thing they tell me is all the self-help books they have read, I cringe a little. I bet you’re thinking: “what kind of coach doesn’t like self help books?”
Let me clarify my point of view: it’s not that I don’t like self help books, I think they are a great resource in gaining clarity in your patterns and creating a new game plan. What fascinates me is when people look to self help books for the quick fix to what they feel has been alluding them most of their lives.
We often look to an expert to tell us what is wrong and to help us fix it. The problem with that kind of thinking is that when you look outside of yourself for the answer, it isn’t completely effective. We have all seen people who have changed their job or lost weight, but they still feel incomplete.
The answer lies in trusting yourself.
I bet you’re asking, if I’m not fixing myself what am I doing?
Fixing what is “wrong” about the circumstance can’t give you what you want; since what you are seeking is a feeling.
Reading all the books in the world cannot give you that: only you can.
You are the expert on you.
You have all the answers.
It’s just a matter of going within and listening.
How do you do that?
Here’s a couple of ways to get started:
1) Get quiet
2) Tap into your feelings
3) Notice what you react to
4) Be a scientist: observe, explore, and write
5) Make connections
6) Start making small changes and see what it feels like
7) Don’t look to others or “experts”, trust yourself
Trusting yourself does not always come naturally; you may need some help along the way. That’s why having mentors and coaches are an important part of building your success. A coach doesn’t give you the answers; they show you how to become the expert on you.
You can start on your own by practicing one of these seven steps today. Over time, you may notice an increase in your overall self- confidence and your ability to make effective decisions about your life.
Laura Tirello is a Career and Life Coach. Her company, Core Life Design, works with people who are successful, but not satisfied, and are ready to reinvent themselves in the workplace and beyond. Get a copy of my *free* special report: “Career Gridlock: 4 Ways to Get Unstuck”. Visit corelifedesign.com for more information. Laura can be contacted at Laura@corelifedesign.com