Tuesday, October 24th, 2017

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Remembering 2000 – 2009… Through South Park

The past ten years have brought us the many things that will change our world forever. Good things, like the iPod, Facebook, and Harry Potter. However, we also saw reality TV, the rise of celebutantes, and Crocs. The decade started with the closest election in American history, followed by the terror and misery of September 11. We invaded Afghanistan, invaded Iraq, and eventually executed Saddam. Britney Spears rose and fell and rose again. Harry Potter made us want to read. American Idol and a million other reality TV shows provided mindless television at a low cost.  Martha Stewart went to prison. The Terminator became Governor. The world suffered through a tsunami and the country despaired as Katrina ripped through New Orleans and the Gulf. We argued about gay marriage and the right to life. Pluto was no longer a planet. The economy collapsed with bankruptcies and bailouts. Finally, we proved that we were ready for change by electing our first Black President, Barack Obama.

This past decade was rough. That’s why we are choosing to look back and laugh.

What happened on South Park? What happened in real life?
Quintuplets 2000. Romanian quintuplets are kicked out of country by Janet Reno to be reunited with their supposed father. Elian Gonzales is sent back to Cuba.
Something You Can Do With Your Finger. Boys form Fingerbang a boy band Popularity of boy bands, especially Backstreet Boys.
Probably. Cartman starts church, Satan & Saddam having affair in hell 10 year anniversary of the first Gulf War
Trapper Keeper. New kindergarten teacher, Mr. Garrison, holds an election for class president, the election demands many recounts, celebrity interference and lots of lawyers. The 2000 election of Gore & Bush, Florida was locked, there were hanging chads, recounts were demanded, and dead people voted.
Proper Condom Use. Sex education is taught and terrifies the children. Under conservative President Bush abstinence only sex education is taught in schools.
The Entity. Mr. Garrison develops the IT, a new transportation device. We also see bailouts of airlines. The Segway is invented. Americans become even lazier.
Osama Bin Laden has Farty Pants. The boys send a dollar to Afghanistan, they send back a goat. The boys go to Afghanistan to return it and have to face how much Americans are hated and Osama Bin Laden himself. September 11, 2009 terrorists fly planes into the World Trade Center and Pentagon. A plane goes down in Pennsylvania. Life, as we know it, changes. We invade Afghanistan. The Patriot Act is passed. Color-coded terrorist threat levels are implemented.
Kenny Dies. Kenny really dies because of the government ban on stem cell research. Stem cell controversy begins.
Butters’ Very Own Episode. Butters mother drives him into a lake then says he was kidnapped by a Puerto Rican guy. Andrea Yates kills her 5 children. We are reminded of Susan Smith.
The New Terrance & Phillip Movie Trailer. Boys trying to see new T& P movie trailer, commercials about Russell Crowe. Russell Crowe beats people up and throws a phone.
Red Hot Catholic Love. Boys are asked if priests molested them. Cartman eats from his butt. Priests molesting young boys are all over the news, including a trial.
Child Abduction is Not Funny. The town hires City Wok owner to build a great wall. School shootings and terrorist threats have many parents terrified.
The Return of the Fellowship of the Ring to the Two Towers. The boys must go on a quest to return a video tape which is mistakenly a porn tape. The Lord of the Rings Two Towers comes out. (In 2004, LOTR Return of the King will go win 11 Academy Awards.)
Red Sleigh Down. Santa is shot down over Iraq. The boys get Jesus to go help him. Jesus is killed. Government says Saddam is hiding WMD’s. Saddam and Iraq are blamed for everything.
I’m a Little Bit Country. War is protested in South Park. Much of country is protesting war
Fat Butt & Pancake Head. Cartman makes a hand puppet named Jennifer Lopez who loves to sing about taco’s and burrito’s. Ben Affleck & J-Lo (Bennifer) are everywhere. Gigli comes out. No one sees it. They postpone, then cancel, wedding.
Red Man’s Greed. Native Americans trying to take over South Park to build casinos with Operation Shock & Awe, infect a blanket with SARS. Shock & Awe is released, Baghdad falls. A SARS outbreak has everyone wearing paper masks.
South Park is Gay! South Park turns metrosexual. Queer Eye is crab people. Queer Eye for the Straight Guy debuts. It’s a surprise hit.
Christian Rock Hard. Cartman forms a Christian rock band to make money. Christian rock is a huge music genre.
Butt Out. Boys get caught smoking, Rob Reiner comes to town to talk about not smoking, tries to kill Kyle to blame it on smoking. New York City bans smoking.
Up the Down Steroid. Jimmy uses steroids in Special Olympics. Steroid use in baseball is big news.
Passion of the Jew. Kyle sees Passion of the Christ, thinks Jews should apologize. Cartman leads a group to his “final solution.” Mel Gibson releases Passion of the Christ. It made a domestic gross of $370,274,604.
AWESOM-O. Cartman pretends he’s a robot to play a prank on Butters. Honda reveals the Asimo robot.
The Jeffersons. Mr. Jefferson & his son blanket move in with arcade, games, toys, a Peter Pan outfit and a face that’s falling off. Michael Jackson indicted for molesting a 12-year old boy.
Goobacks. People from future willing to work for cheap. Illegal immigration is yet another big controversy. Immigration Reform Act of 2004.
Spoiled Stupid Whore Video Playset. Paris Hilton opens a new shop in South Park. Paris Hilton and the rise of the Celebutantes.
Mr. Garrison’s Fancy New Vagina. Mr. Garrison gets a sex change, Kyle gets a negroplasty to play better basketball and his father becomes a dolphin. In 2004, Massachusetts allowed same sex marriages while 11 other states banned it. Botox is very, very popular.
Best Friends Forever. Kenny is hanging on by a feeding tube. Cartman tries to kill him because he wants his PSP. Terry Schiavo and the right to life fight. Video game wars: XBOX 360 & PlayStation 3 released.
Two Days Before the Day After Tomorrow. Stan and Cartman drives a boat into a beaver dam, flooding the town below and the whole town blames it on global warming. Hurricane Katrina devastates country, Kanye West says “George Bush doesn’t care about black people.” Is global warming to blame?
Follow That Egg. Mr. Garrison gives the students eggs to take care of as a parenting assignment, hoping two boys can’t do it so he can stop same sex marriages California assembly passes gay marriage but Governor Schwarzenegger vetoes it. Gay parenting in the news.
Trapped in the Closet. Stan is thought to be the reincarnation of L. Ron Hubbard. Tom Cruise won’t come out of his closet. Tom Cruise goes crazy on Oprah; jumps on her couch.
A Million Little Fibers. Towlie writes a made-up memoir. The memoir A Million Little Pieces is a lie. On Oprah. She’s furious.
ManBearPig. Al Gore comes to spread awareness of ManBearPig. Al Gore goes on Oprah to spread environmental awareness. He makes An Inconvenient Truth, wins an Oscar.
Make Love, Not Warcraft. Boys play World of Warcarft, another player keeps killing them. Video games such as the MMOPRG are making millions.
Mystery of the Urinal Deuce. Mackey tries to find out who defecated in the urinal while others are convinced 9/11 was a conspiracy. Many people still convinced that 9/11 is a conspiracy.
Miss Teacher Bang s a Boy. A teacher and Ike. Debra Lafave teacher-student sex scandal, Dog the Bounty Hunter strangely popular.
Hell on Earth 2006. Satan throws a Halloween party. Steve Irwin, the Crocodile Hunter, dies.
Go God Go (1 &2) Cartman can’t wait for his Wii so he has Butter freeze him. He wakes to an atheistic society. Wii is released. Arguments & court cases over teaching intelligent design versus evolution in schools continue.
With apologies to Jess Jackson. Randy goes on Wheel of Fortune, says the “N” word. Michael Richards screams racial slurs at the Laugh Factory.
Night of the Living Homeless. Homeless are showing up in South Park. Teens beating up homeless people. California has big homeless problem. Zombie’s becoming very popular: 28 Weeks Later & I Am Legend released.
Guitar Queer-O. Stan and Kyle break 100,000 points on Guitar Hero, Stan goes off on his to try and make a million. Rock Bank released. Guitar Hero III released.
Britney’s New Look. Trying to escape the paparazzi Britney shoots off the top 2/3 of her head. Townspeople say she needs to die for a good corn harvest. In 2007, Spears shaved her head, went to rehab and lost custody of her kids. In 2008, she locked herself and son in her bathroom, spent time in the hospital.
Canada on Strike. Canada goes on strike until they can get some of that Internet money. In Hollywood, the Writers Guild goes on strike and we’re left with even more reality TV. People become “famous” on YouTube but make no money.
Eek, a Penis! Mrs. Garrison wants her penis back. Cartman teaches class. A pregnant transsexual appears on Oprah. Scientists grow an ear on the back of a mouse. Bill Bellicheck is caught in Spygate (2007)
About Last Night. Obama and McCain pull off one of the greatest heists in history (Ocean’s 11 style) and reveal that the election was just a cover. Barack Obama is elected President, defeating John McCain and Sarah Palin
Elementary School Musical. Singing in school becomes the latest fad. High School Musical 3 is huge fad.
The Ungroundable. Butters believes he’s a vampire. Twilight is really popular. People stop thinking for themselves.
The Ring. Kenny and his girlfriend wear purity rings and become boring after seeing a Jonas Brothers concert. The Jonas Brothers are also popular and wear purity rings.  2009 saw the Jonas Brothers 3D Concert Experience.
The Coon. Cartman dresses up as The Coon to save South Park but he is upstaged by Mysterion. This decade we’ve seen Batman movies, Spiderman, Superman, Hellboy, X-Men, Fantastic Four, The Incredible Hulk, Transformers, The Incredibles, Iron Man, The Punisher, Electra, etc, etc
Margaritaville. The economy goes bad. Randy tells everyone to give up spending. Stan tries to return a margaritaville. Recession, bail outs, banks declaring bankruptcy.  High unemployment. The economy is a mess.
Fatbeard. Cartman hears of pirates in Somalia so he takes a crew to go pillage and plunder. There really are pirates in Somalia.
Dead Celebrities. Ike sees Dead Celebrities. This year we saw the death of Michael Jackson, Farah Fawcett, Ed McMahon, David Caradine and ad-man Billy Mays
Whale Whores. Japanese are attacking whales, dolphins and other marine mammals. Lady Ga-Ga is big news, Michael jackson is still on all mag covers & the TV show Whale Wars is still on Animal Planet. Japanese whalers kill whales.
Dances with Smurfs. Cartman takes over morning announcements, accusing Wendy (the class president) of killing Smurfs. She resigns and publishes a book Going Rogue on the Smurfs. Conspiracy personality Glenn Beck runs his mouth, James Cameron’s Avatar is released, Sarah Palin resigns from her job as Governor of Alaska and publishes her book: Going Rogue: An American Life.

Read the companion piece “Lessons from South Park

Image courtesy of Comedy Central.

Lessons from South Park
The edge of night: Adult Swim draws youth by breaking rules
Making Money Hollywood Style: Sequels & 3D

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6 Responses to Remembering 2000 – 2009… Through South Park

  1. Pingback: Lessons From South Park

  2. Pingback: Remembering 2000 – 2010… Through South Park | Hunt Careers

  3. Annonymous says:

    Alright well you are completely wrong about the Season 13 Fishsticks episode. That episode aired in April or so this year. The VMA Taylor Swift incident happened in September, so therefore, that incident had absolutely nothing to do with putting Kanye in the fishstick episode in APRIL. They did it to poke fun of Kanye because he’s so full of himself, not for what he did at the VMAs.

  4. Pingback: How I’m making 2000$ per month by being a Video Game Tester | Games Testing Ground

  5. Cara Newman, YOUNG MONEY Editor says:

    You’re right about the Fishsticks! I’ll fix it. Thank you!

  6. rosie says:

    if u can make a highlight dvd-it would be hysterical
    and make a mint!!!!

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